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I drove until the houses in my peripheral disappeared past the county line, past the radio towers There was a twenty-four-hour place with buzzing lights and paper flowers I bought a coffee I didn't want just to have somewhere to sit The girl behind the counter said, “You look like you're waiting for something.” I said, “I'm not.” But I was I was waiting for the night to change waiting for the signs to rearrange waiting for a little accident to make this town feel sentient I kept driving past the same three streets Maybe I don't need to know where I'm going Maybe I just need somewhere to be. The windows were full of strangers buying things beneath the fluorescent glow A child counted quarters A woman sang along to something low And I thought, maybe everybody's lonely in their own particular way Maybe that's why the lights stay on long after everybody's gone away I was waiting for the night to change waiting for the signs to rearrange waiting for a little accident to make this town feel sentient I kept driving past the same three streets Maybe I don't need to know where I'm going Maybe I just need somewhere to be. At two, the grocery store was empty except for me and the humming refrigerators I stood beneath the freezer lights reading labels like they were letters Nothing called me anywhere nothing asked me to become I took an orange from the pile and held it like a little sun I left the keys in the ignition let the engine breathe against the dark I watched the traffic lights change colors with no one there to tell them when to stop And maybe that's enough maybe that's enough to keep becoming someone without knowing who I drove until the morning found me around the edges of the road The same town was waiting when I got there but I wasn't looking for it anymore I don't know where I'm going I don't know what I'll become But the sky was opening above me and I was already moving on The radio lost the station somewhere past the county line A voice came through the static then disappeared before the punchline I laughed for no reason and the sound surprised me I hadn't heard myself do that in a long, long time.